Written by Lindsay Melrose Monday, 04 October 2010 12:25

GunnerTalk Blog

By Lindsay Sheehan

Well I don't know what you lot do on Mondays like this. Do you sulk? Brazen it out? Focus on the positives? Sink to the depths of despair? (Mind you, be careful if you chose that option. The Depths of Despair Hilton is full to the brim of Scoucers already checked in and comfy at the 'Drown Your Sorrows' Bar.)

Me? I hide. I avoid the papers, Sky Sports News and Talk Bollox radio.  I sometimes wallow with Arseblog but that's usually well after lunch, if I even fancy food. (A shock in itself. Me off my food??)  I don't even text my mates and Facebooks a no no. Nothing tastes worse than defeat but when it's the Chavs and that hideous c*** Drogba it's a really hefty shit sandwich to swallow.

I told George I'd write the blog after the Chelsea game. Why did I say that? I don’t wanna talk about it and I'm sure you lot don't want to read about it.

Do you wanna hear we had almost 60 per cent possession in the second half? Again. Do you want to be reminded we had a dozen shots on target? What about our work rate? Passes completed? Anyone remotely interested that we had 10 sick notes in the over used injury bay? What about the WBA factor? Yes had we won that game this one was no biggie really. Wanna chat about the average weight of their teams vs ours? Bothered that this is the umpteenth game we've lost to them since the 'Wenger Youth Experiment" started? Shall we discuss how the divisions already mentioned in 'United We Stand Divided We....' will have been ripped as wide as Ashley's arsehole on a Saturday night by yesterdays result? Blah blah blah blah FUCKING BLAH!!

Me neither. I'm fucking sick and tired of losing to that bunch of c***s. Really. When the team sheet is announced and you can put a big red penned tick in the c*** box next to them all yet still know you're gonna get spanked (again) it’s a tad disheartening.  And their supporters are a bunch of c***s. You are probably sitting near one at work, or on the tube or live next door to one or god forbid have one in the family. C***s all them. There could be one sitting in the traffic jam in the car next to you. Is he smiling? Yeah that’s him – he’s a c***. If there is ever a worldwide c*** shortage just pop by Stamford Bridge and fill your boots. Problem solved.

During the second half Adam said to me do you remember when the Chelsea match was a gimmie? When it was always a victory and a smug smile along with a kebab to keep you warm on the way home? Like trophies these are now distant memories. Chelsea are honestly stronger, taller, more expensive, fitter, more clinical and just, dam it, better than us.....

Sorry small break while I was sick in my own mouth.

Yes they've spent the GDP of a large country to get there but as they shoved down our throats 'that's why they are champions.'

Anyway so now that's established I just don’t know what to do with myself. Eat humble pie? Hold on for picking ourselves up, dusting ourselves off and 3 points at home to Birmingham? Join a suicide website? Really don’t know.  Anyway I'm off to kiss my mother with this mouth and forget about yesterday. Please.