Written by David Thursday, 15 April 2010 20:39

GunnerTalk Blog

By David Coral 

Well that was horrible, just absolutely fucking horrible. The last time spurs beat us in the league I was 11 years old- I wasn’t even interested in boobs back then for fuck’s sake. It wasn’t just the loss, but the manner of it. Does anybody else feel the pain that much more when we play well and lose, as opposed to having a shocking day out and getting what’s coming to us? Maybe others will see it differently, but I saw a game where we were missing half of our best players (as usual), yet still managed to pass the ball around beautifully, create chances (eventually) and keep our heads up until the very very end.

 The only real mistake I can remember is our defensive line fucking up for their second goal, with Clichy keeping Bale onside for an easy finish. Bale is, by the way, a horrible looking smarmy Welsh cunt who has one of those faces that you just want to punch again and again. When you’ve finished punching him and the life has disappeared from his swollen, purple face, you want to punch him some more and then take a piss on his bleeding, lifeless corpse... erghhh sorry I’m writing this in the immediate aftermath of the game and evidently still have a little pent up anger and aggression.

Chances wise, I can only remember two even half decent that they had; the second goal and a chance for Gudjohnsen in the second half. The first goal was not what you’d call a goal scoring chance. When I saw him shaping up to shoot I thought “great, goal kick coming up, row z look out”. A 19 year old premier league debutant scores in that situation about as often as I pick up a Sienna Miller lookalike at a bar. In fact, fuck it, he scores there about as often as I pick up Sienna herself, take her back to mine, she offers me anal and then cooks me eggs Benedict the following morning. Unlikely... So where do we go from here? Well, first of all, we suggest to every Tottenham fan attempting to rib us that they enjoy the next 10 years waiting for another league win against us. We also remind them that the high standards of Arsenal Football Club see five years without a trophy as a drought and the last time they won a trophy which wasn’t better suited for scrap metal (the League Cup) was 1982. We then focus on the last few games which we would like to win for the sake of pride, make sure we hurl some serious abuse at Adebayor when Citeh come to visit and prepare for the sofaandbeer fest that is this summer’s World Cup. Unfortunately that’s all we can do, as another season without a trophy is now inevitable.

That may not have been the case had Robin Van Persie stayed fit this season. On a more positive note, he looked absolutely brilliant when he came on, holding up the ball and linking up play beautifully, creating chances and having a few himself which would have been goals were it not for some great goalkeeping. At one point Andy Gray was envisaging how our season might have turned out had he kept fit, comparing us without him to Chelsea without Drogfuck, Liverpool without Torres or United without Rooney. I couldn’t agree more and one of the top priorities next season should be trying to make sure he stays fit. Keyword: trying.

We’re going to need to add some class too; we’re close to being able to compete with United and Chelsea, but we’re not there yet. We also need a bigger squad overall, considering the constant insistency of our players to get crocked (for the latest casualty see Vermaelen, Thomas). Here’s one to start the rumour mill churning; how about re-signing Thierry Henry? Don’t laugh it off so quickly, Barca clearly don’t see him as a key player anymore, the move would add some good depth in a position of need and an old fan favourite would be returning to the club. Arsène doesn’t usually buy ex-players over 30, but seeing how well Sol Campbell’s done may change his mind in this case. Anyway, that’s just a thought and there’s plenty of time to go before we should be thinking about these things, in the mean time let’s try and have as strong a finish to the season as possible and forget about last night...‘Til next time...