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interlull

By Ben Harrington

Most of you like me despise the very thought of an interlull, two games in a week where the only thing you do is pray that your clubs players come back unharmed.

I’ve long been bored of international football, so these breaks really do drag on, so I have come up with some activities to help pass this two week boredom spell:

You could do a Terry and shag your best mate’s bird as well as shouting racial slurs at passing minorities, Following on from that you could do a Giggs and bone your brothers wife. If neither of those floats your boat you could do a Rooney and hire a 50 year old brass.

In a similar vein you could do a Cashley and dig out your old Nokia, set it to vibrate and shove it up your own arse for thrills… Although can’t see the appeal myself.

If violence is your thing you could do a Ferguson and head-butt a co-worker or do a Barton and get tanked up on Stella and pop down the local McDonalds to smash the shit out of a school kid.

For entertainment purposes you could do a Balotelli and have a fireworks display in the front room, or alternatively do a Mutu and shove a kilo of Columbia’s finest up your bugle…

But if the need takes you could always do a Tevez and refuse to do anything your manager asks you to, but better still you could not turn up at all.

And there we have my list of activities to pass the interlull, none of which I recommend!

Until next time…

Follow me on Twitter @BenAFC

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