Written by David Tuesday, 16 November 2010 17:21

GunnerTalk Blog

By David Coral 

Statements which would have sounded ludicrous a short while ago:

Lukasz Fabianski is an elite premier league goalkeeper.

Bacary Sagna can finish like Alan Shearer.

On their day, Sunderland can dick on Chelsea at Stamford Bridge.

Please excuse the extremely cliché nature of the title of this blog- it’s just like something Alan Hansen would say when he has exhausted his catchphrases of “two lines of four” and “terrible defending” (for fuck sake think of something INTERESTING to say!...). I truly hate clichés but you can understand why someone once said something along these lines once upon a time (a long time before that fuckwit Hansen was ever allowed on TV). This weekend, Man U drew, City drew, Chelsea LOST and we WON. AWAY. FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A WEEK. IN FUCKING NOVEMBER! I keep expecting to wake up, but then realise I can’t be dreaming as the scum won and Gareth Bale managed to escape the ground without being chopped down by sniper fire from a rogue gooner in disguise (*pause for giggle and hopeful sigh...*) But still, a pretty fucking epic week end and we can take care of that lot next time around.

You know what they say (*patronising tone*), a week is a long time in football... (FUCKING CLICHÉS KILL ME NOW!!!). Walking out of the Emirates last Sunday, I was preparing myself for another season of mediocrity with Chelsea surely about to go 8 points clear of us; hoping not to get embarrassed too many more times at home, stocking up on Cesc memories before he jets off to Spain and praying to all things holy that we finish above Spurs (after all, God is a gooner). And yet, a mere week later, following two Chelsea losses and two Arsenal wins, we sit second in the table, just two points behind Chelsea, who’s players, fans and coaching staff must bear the torturing memories of Asamoah Gyan’s dancing for the rest of the season- oh the horror... It is, of course, important not to get carried away; things can quite easily go south as quickly as they improved, but we’ve got to feel good about ourselves after 13 games of the season, and equally good that the other teams around us have hardly set the league on fire. Please now let’s really push on- no more Newcastle/ West Brom debacles at home, more of the assured shot stopper and less Flap-ianski between the sticks and how about the likes of Van Persie and Vermaelen getting back from injury and really giving us some extra spark as our title challenge hits top gear. If that doesn’t sound like the Arsenal we all know and love, well, we can always hope. First thing’s first though, we MUST beat Tottenham on Saturday to keep the feel good factor alive. The most important thing, of course, is the result, but it would be nice to give that Bale prick a good kicking; the ‘best player in the world-better than Messi-off to Real Madrid for 100million-sucking on his welsh balls’ campaign by their lot is irking me somewhat... Although, I suppose a little overreaction is understandable when your best player for 10 years was Darren Anderton. Actually, I lie, Sol Campbell was a very good player, remind me what happened there again?...

As a finishing note, let’s just recount the newly updated list of reasons why Cashley Cole is a fucking asshole-     His very wide ass hole.

                                                          The fact that he loves cock (related to point one I suppose, but let’s not be nitpicky).

                                                          The fact that he feels the compulsion to broadcast points one and two by means of mobile telecommunication.

                                                          The most gorgeous woman in Britain left him looking a twat, largely due to points one, two and three.

                                                          THAT BACKPASS- HA HA HA!!!

‘Til next time...