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Football Widow Episode 09

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Written by Ilch Tuesday, 25 May 2010 19:28

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Football Widow Rant!!
 
By Ilch
 

The football widow has been busy recently trying to sort out or youngest son’s birthday party – you would think it quite easy but NO!

The date originally chosen did not suit Auntie A – so I change it and that one does not suit Auntie B – so I change it again and this time it does not suit Cousin A or B!!

So one more time I change the date of our beloved son’s party only to be told NO – Champion’s league is on that evening!!

Am I missing something here – are we actually putting football in front of celebrating 21 years of my youngest child’s life?

I recall quite a few years ago Arsenal were playing Fenerbahce in the Champions League in Turkey (could have been Galatasaray as I always get these two teams mixed up – it’s not like they even sound the same but there you go!)  It was mid May and it was on a Wednesday night – oh and it was my son’s birthday – George (husband) gave me specific instructions that no one was to come round that night (no-one meaning mums/sisters/sister-in-laws – no one of the female variety basically) I reassured him that no one would come as we always had our birthday parties on the weekend after the actual date.

Not unknown to me (as they phoned and told me) – my mother-in-law and sister-in-law decided to surprise us by coming over and bringing our son his presents!  Well when they phoned to let me know, what exactly was I supposed to say.....? “Don’t come” Consequently I did not let on to George till they were halfway to our house!

Please!! I ask you.... is this normal? Please find below conversation between the father of my children and me – as far as my memory serves me:

 
Me:              “George your mum and sister are coming tonight babe”
George:        “why”
Me:              “They wanted to surprise our son on his birthday”
George:        “Why”
Me:              “They just thought it would be a good idea”
George:        “Phone them and cancel”
Me:              “They have already left” (sis in law did not have a mobile way back then)
George:        “Don’t you know Arsenal are playing tonight – I don’t want them in the living room talking all through the game – take them to the kitchen – keep them in the kitchen – I mean it -  if I see them and they start talking over the football I will be really pissed off”
George:        “I can’t believe this – do you know what a crucial match this is?”
George:        I am not joking; just keep them in the kitchen”
Me:              “All right All right stop stressing, no one will disturb you”
Me:              “God!!!!!”
 
So husbands mum and sis arrive – I take them into the kitchen, I feed them, I give them desert, Tea, Turkish coffee,  – and chat to them however they have sussed out that a Turkish team is playing – to my horror mum in law starts walking towards the door – oh my god!!  I try another tactic “Oh shall we get your grandson to open his
presents?”  Fat chance – son is watching Arsenal in the living room with his dad and older brother and neither love, money or birthday presents are going to drag him away!!
  
So we all go into the living room where George’s mum immediately does and says the
following wrong things:
  • Plonks herself right next to George – not good – George needs arm room – those arms will be going up in either horror or delight – depending on which way the game goes!!
  • Starts asking questions – oh no! George starts off with polite answers but the tone of his voice changes with every answer – whilst at the same time throwing dirty glances my way!
  • Last but not least – starts clapping when the Turkish team get the ball, shouting at the TV (in Turkish) and basically supporting the team we are playing AGAINST!!
Well you can’t blame her – she is from Turkey – and so is her son but he is not amused at all – in fact he downright gloats that Arsenal are going to batter them – make minced meat out of them and basically they have not got a chance in hell!!
 
Oh dear!!
 
Whilst all this is going on sister in law decides to get in on the act and starts throwing facts around – no not football facts – football players/wives gossip facts!! Pointing to the players she proceeds to tell us their life stories and who is going out with who and who dumped who etc etc – now the dirty looks are getting more severe and they are definitely in my direction!!
 
Somehow in the midst of all this chaos I think my husband has somewhat forgotten that on that particular day, 10 years ago (I think it was his 10th birthday) I.... yes ME gave birth to his youngest child!!!
 
Well to add insult to injury whilst exceptionally dirty looks was jeopardising my marriage
Arsenal lost!
 
Yes Arsenal lost!!
 
Hard to believe as my husband was so adamant that we wouldn’t – we did!!
 
Imagine the scenario – Mum in law laughing, cheering, arms waving in the air and she did, I believe, try to hug and kiss her son!!  Sister in law still going on about the guy that just scored and how he left his wife blah blah blah!! Oh and she was cheering too!
 
George got up and casually said “Are you going home now” to which his mum and sis laughed – took it as a joke and remained where they were!!  But you and I know he was not joking!!!
 
So taking all the above into consideration I am not surprised or disappointed or even pissed off that we can’t have a party on the same night at the Champions League Final – this is something I have learnt to live with.  Football comes first!
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